Thursday, November 24, 2016


I am going to be raw,
I am struggling, I am struggling heaps with this move, with the girls having chicken pox,
with just doing everything mostly on my own.
Struggling with words said to me, things I forget to do or never get around to do and everything I know I need to do.
With all this sadness I have in my heart, all the over drive thinking.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Life got in the way.


1// Always craft time with B.
2// Saying goodbye.
3// Attempting to pack.
4// Discovering.
5// First orientation day.
6// Celebrating turning 2.


Its so hard to get back into the swing of things when you haven't even made any effort in such a long time, I feel so fake with these little updates and I keep wanting to make these regular but I know that it cant be because I have no time with chasing all the three girls, work and trying to maintain our little section of the home we are currently living in somewhat presentable is hard.

Today I had to call in sick due to losing my voice, you know how hard it is to parent kids with whispers, well maybe some kids but differently not mine.
x

Tuesday, September 27, 2016



How do you parent when you have so much sadness in your heart??

I feel so guilty that I have happy moment, that I simply forget what has happened,
tonight is another sad night, a night that guilt comes to play with all the things I could have done,
that I could have made more of a effort, that I could have spent new years eve with him, that I shouldn't have gotten pissed that he didn't come to Bella's party.

Yes I was there to hold his hand towards the end but that wasn't and will never be enough,
I miss his voice.
I should have done more.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Taking Stock


Keeping stock is my favourite thing to do, I haven't done one in a while. 

Making : Toast
Cooking : Pasta with Egg for Chris.
Drinking : Green Tea
Reading: Natalie's Spring Newsletter
Deciding: To book a holiday to Bali for just us two or with the clan.
Wishing: So many little things.
Enjoying: Some alone time.
Waiting: For the sleepy bunny to come hit me.
Loving: My little family I created.
Considering: What to cook for lunch tomorrow.
Buying: Dorothy the Dino concert tickets.
Hoping: A easier recovery for a loved one.
Needing: A hug.
Smelling: Coconut and Lime candle. 
Wearing: Cosy jumpers + work pants.
Thinking: Memories.
Admiring: My children and the ease they accept things.
Getting: Cold toes this cool spring night.
Disliking: The pile of washing I need to organise and wash.
Opening: Too many bills.
Feeling: A little sad.
Hearing: The rail drops on the tin roof 
Forgetting: A little to many things.
Embracing: early morning raises to get my workouts in before work + life.

Friday, September 09, 2016


I've been struggling so much recently with trying to juggle family and work life.

Its so hard for me to find a balance in them both, to not feel guilty about working all of the hours that I do and then not feel guilty about asking to cut down those hours because I want to be with my children more than to be a work more.

I feel so detached from everything, like I don't fit in with my own family and I don't fit in with the people I work with, it feels like everything always changes in those hours I am in gone and I tend to miss things that are important from both.

I wish the whole balance thing was much easier to figure out.