I feel so guilty that I have happy moment, that I simply forget what has happened,
tonight is another sad night, a night that guilt comes to play with all the things I could have done,
that I could have made more of a effort, that I could have spent new years eve with him, that I shouldn't have gotten pissed that he didn't come to Bella's party.
Yes I was there to hold his hand towards the end but that wasn't and will never be enough,
I miss his voice.
I should have done more.