Monday, September 21, 2015
The older girls have gone out with my mother in law, she also washed our dishes and tidied up a whole kitchen because I just didn't have the energy to do it all myself for the 5000x today.
Its nice for the place to be silent for the first time this week, the school holidays started and so now the constant screaming + complaining will be part of our days.
I am so grateful she took them because I really needed some time away from them to re-center myself, to re-focus and to push away the sadness I am carrying around.
By taking them I am finally able to breath, ponder around the house doing a few little things I need to do, write those list and stare at all the old clothes they no longer need.
I just have these days that I just need to be able to close my eyes and not feel this intense overwhelmed feeling that I get.
Usually my parents lend a helping hand but they are currently on holidays overseas and I've noticed so much more how much I actually need them,
I need them because I tend to get a little overwhelmed with everything around me, I am the main sol career of the girls, I do everything for them, for our home and for him.
Some days my days seem like they will never end, that they just drag on and on while others I blink and its already time for the night flow.
The older I get the more I realise how much you need family or friends to be around, for them to come past so you can shower for the first time in a few days, for them to entertain your children while you cook some dinner or to grab a coffee or bring you some, or to sit at a park with you while your children run around,
I am so grateful that I do have that.